Name

In understanding and being taught more and more about the miscarriage grieving process, we were strongly encouraged to name our little girl.  It was something I had thought about and had certainly seen others do, but it felt unnecessary and "better" to ignore that part and just "move forward".  I was wrong.  This process is not about constantly moving forward; nor is it about stages.  It's a circle; sometimes I swing around the circle a little higher and then other times I swing backwards.  Either direction is ok: I want need to feel it all.  Forward, backward, forward.  Eventually I will come full circle in this grieving process.  That said, I was simply avoiding another very real aspect of her loss.  I was wrong about not naming her.

She deserves a name; a title.  She was more than just "the miscarried baby." She was dreamed about and yearned for.  She was supposed to be a newborn, a toddler, a child, a teen, a woman, a wife, a mother, a grandmother.  She was supposed to be showered with kisses on her soft little skin.  She was ours....she is ours.

One day, Leighton will ask - and we will be honest.  She had a sister that would have been just under 3 years younger than her. 

A sister named Livvi.